Who Said Dreams Don't Come True??

This is one dream that did.....
I guess I better start at the beginning...

Michael W. Smith has been my favorite singer since I was in High School. I've been saying for a long time "before I die, I want to go to one of his concerts". There are so may of this songs that I like that I can't really pick one that is my favorite, and I pretty much gave up on ever going to one of his concerts. I just settled for listening to the CD's and just dreamed, yet I still said.

A few months ago, my Amy gave me a book to read...The Secret...it's about changing your way of thinking, and saying I want this, or I want that...basically thinking positive. So, in the middle of this book, things started clicking, and I said to myself..."I'm gonna go to a Michael W. Smith concert some day. Little did I know that day was only about 2 months away.The day after Thanksgiving, I was getting ready for a doctor appointment, when my phone rang. It was Josh's mom. Now...let me remind you again, Michael W. Smith is my absolute favoritest singer ever. Anyways, she was calling to ask me if Josh and I would want to go to the Michael W. Smith concert December 6th, and that would be our Christmas present. I didn't need to think about it. I wanted to jump at it right away, but I needed to talk to Josh first. Josh was the only thing at that point standing in the way of one of my biggest dreams coming true. So, I hung up with his mom...called Josh...his response..."do you want to go...or do I even need to ask?" Josh said to call his mom back and tell her yes...we'll go. At this point, I can hardly think straight, because I could hardly believe I was FINALLY going to be able to cross something off my "bucket list". At this point, I was almost crying cuz I couldn't believe what was actually gonna happen after I called his mom back. Our tickets were going to be ordered for a concert I had been waiting over 10 years to go to.

Our tickets got ordered, and December 6th finally comes. Josh and I made a night of it. We went out to dinner before the concert, got there at a decent time, bought a few CD's, then just chatted while waiting for everything to start. We were in Club Seating, row 6, seat 1 & 2. We thought we had pretty good seats cuz we were the only 2 people that would be in that row. No one had to climb over us, we didn't have to move for anyone...it was great...there were only 2 seats in the row. :) While waiting, I saw people lined up, and had a feeling they had back stage passes. I was jealous cuz I wanted to be there. I was telling Josh it would be cool to be in the front row, and said some day I will be.

The concert didn't start till 7, and about 10 to, a guy comes up to us, and asks us if we listen to KTIS (they were sponsoring the concert) we said yes, and introduced us to the lady who does Saturday mornings on the station...I don't remember what her name is. Anyways, she asked us if we would like better seats and of course, we said yes. I was thinking they would be on the lower level, and we would have a better view...but now...when we said yes, her next question was..."How does front row, seats 1 & 2 sound?" Of course we jumped at it...well...more me than Josh, but come on...front row...you kidding...I'm not gonna pass that up.

I think it took about 20 minutes for it to sink in for me as to where we were sitting. I couldn't have asked for a better night. Now...the next concert...I'm gearing up for back stage passes. :)

Where we started

Where we ended up

Happy B-day Noah!!!

Wow...it't been 2 years already. It seems like it was just yesterday that we lost him. About a year or so ago, I was filing papers at work, listening to my ipod and minding my own business. A song started playing and I didn't think much of it other than the fact that I hadn't heard it in such a long time. The song is a constant reminder to me that even though Noah isn't here with us, I know we WILL see him agian. So...today on Noah's birthday, I am sharing it with all of you. Just remember, that even though Noah isn't here with us, he is in our hearts and minds, and we will see him again...

Hello, Good-Bye
Where's the Navigator of your destiny?
Where is the Dealer of this hand?
Who can explain life and its brevity'

Cause there is nothing here that I can understand

You and I have barely met

And I just don't want to let go of you yet

Chorus:
Noah, hello, goodbye

I will see you on the other side

Noah, sweet child of mine

I will see you on the other side

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine

For the hardest thing I've ever had to face

Heaven calls for you before it calls for me

When you get there, save me a place

A place where I can share your smile

And I can hold you for more than just a while

Chorus

Seeing Things From Both Sides of the Fence

Amanda had her baby September 1st. How ironic to have your first child on Labor Day??? Anyways, Amanda had her baby and I couldn't be happier for her. Some family is upset because grandma Youngmark says this is her first great-grandchild, when they feel she really isn't...Noah is. Well...I see it both ways. Yes, Noah would be the 1st great-grandchild, but yes, Linnea is as well. I'll be honest, it really doesn't bother me that she says Linnea is the first great-grandchild, because in grandma's eyes, she is. I know she isn't discounting Noah. Everyone hurt when we lost him. I still hurt today, and it's been almost 2 years. If I were to get upset about grandma saying Linnea is her first great-grandchild, does that mean I should get upset at my parents when they say they have 3 grandkids? No...I shouldn't get upset. Sometimes people just don't want to explain that they lost a grandchild/great-grandchild, because it's just plain hard. There are times when I tell people I don't have kids. It doesn't mean that I'm not considering Noah my child...I just don't want to go into details. Who knows...grandma may consider Noah a great-grandchild, but for her to say she has 2 great grandkids would mean she would have to go through the pain and explain that her "1st" didn't make it and was still born. Who wants to explain that? I can't let the little things like this bother me...I'm trying to learn to let little things go. To me, this is just a little thing. Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain and loss, and I think this is grandma's way of doing that.

Evan and Amanda have Linnea. I couldn't be happeir for them. I'm glad they have her. I wouldn't with the loss of a child on anyone. It is by far the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life. Never ever would I wish that on anyone.

So, Sunday is Linnea's baptism, and I'm determined to make the best of it. After all...she is mine and Josh's God daughter...and she's a cutie...just like her "auntie" Nomie.:)

Vacation Pictures

Yeah I know...vacation was back in July...but...now that I have the pictures on my computer, I can post some of them...so...here you go! :)

Our awesome tent

USS Irving

The lift bridge

Goosberry Falls (I love waterfalls!!!) We have ton of pictures of this

At Glensheen...very interesting place to tour. If you are in the area...spend the money and go on the tour...it is a very beautiful house...majority of the stuff is original. It was a little creepy at first walking through a house where you know a murder took place...expecially walking up the main stairs where the nurse was first found. But you get over it...but it is a super interesting tour and beautiful house/mansion.

Back of Glensheen

Gardners house

Carriage house

Politics...

I'm not into politics.
I don't know who to vote for.
People say McCain.
People say Obama.
Who do I vote for?
I'll vote for who I think will do the better job.
Maybe I should start doing some research.
Any suggestions on websites look at?
I'm open to any and all...

Our Camping Visitor

Well, we're finally home again. Josh and I left for Duluth on the 7th, and got home last night around 9:30 or so. We are super tired, but were incredibly glad to be able to sleep in our own bed again. I'll post pictures when Josh gets them off the camera, bur for now, this is what you get...

Tuesday morning I was washing up stuff from breakfast, and Josh had run to the bathroom. I made some PB & J for lunch, and the sandwiches and PB were still out. I had a little visitor...I couldn't get it on the normal camera cuz I didn't want to scare him away...so the camera on my phone had to work for...a little red squirl came over, and was up on the table...in the pictures you can pretty much see how close I was to him...I think I ended up about a foot a way from it. The little stinker wasn't afraid of anything...here's the pictures, and a few videos...enjoy...

Our Salt Water Aquarium

A few months back Josh decided he wanted to start a salt water aquarium. After much research, and cleaning of the tank, we finally have it under way. We had to start with just the sand for a bit, then add the rock, and now we are currently on the "clean-up crew" stage...aka...adding the snails. So...we have a few living creatures in the tank now, and when we get back from vacation we will probably get a few clown fish, and see how it goes. Some day...we may end up with a bigger tank...:) I wouldn't mind...we just need to get a normal house first. But for now...this will do...here are a few pictures...

Stage One: Sand

Stage 2: Add Rock

Stage 3: Add more rock and some snails...they are in there, you just can't see them to well...they blend pretty well with the rock and sand.

I'll post more pictures when we get the fish...:)

Library Visits!!

Ok...so you all know I love to read. I'm guessing it must run in the family...I'm thinking I got it from mom, who in turn got it from grandma. But, anywho...my wonderful husband talked me into getting a library card...probably cuz he was sick of me telling him I needed books. Yes, I have a tote full from Amy, which needs to be returned...but right now that's besides the point. I think I'm on book 16 or 17 so far this year, and still have about 3 sitting here waiting to be read before they are returned. But about this library thing...they are by far the best thing around. We are there probably once every few weeks getting stocked up on books. Yes, Josh even got a card. He's been reading up on salt water aquariums. We are now down to 3 fish, and are waiting for them to die, so we can start a salt water aquarium. So anyways...libraries are by far my favorite thing right now. There is an endless variety of books, of which I am picky on what I read, but still...even in my short little variety, I have many to choose from. Pretty soon, I'm going to have to move on to new people cuz I will sadly have read all books by Karen Kingsbury, Nicholas Sparks, Beverly Lewis, and Lori Wick. It saddens me just thinking about it.

Our Crazy Dog

Pepper likes to eat her blankets. I got home from work today and this is what I happened to find. Somehow she got herself through a hole in her blanket and her tail through another hole on the other side. Watching her try to walk is quite humerous...watch the video (hopefully it works). We really do have a crazy dog.

She did this by her self...no human intervention was used!!!

She did this alone too...

The full effect....

When I was a Kid

Movies you watched when you were seemed cool, but have you noticed that when you watch those same movies when you are older, they just don't seem to be as good?? For example, at the moment, Josh and I are watching "The Boy Who Could Fly". I remember some parts of it, but others, I don't remember ever being in the movie. But, over all, I it seemed to be a better movie when I was younger. If I remember right though, my brother really liked this movie back in the day.
I guess this enough for now. I should get back to the movie. It might get better...who knows. Wonders never cease to amaze me these days.

My Love For Reading

So it happens again that I have to post about my joy of reading. We are only 3 months into the year, and I'm already on book #7 for the year. As I may have said before, I have a 30 minute ride to and from work each day, and it gives me plenty of time to read. Just a few weeks ago, Josh discovered a website where you can get books free on-line. Yes, you have to subscribe to it, but they e-mail you instalments of books for free. I'm in the process of getting The Count of Monte Cristo right now. I'm excited to start reading it. I've seen the movie a few times, and have enjoyed it. In high school, we had to read the book...I only read chapters 1-10. I should be just about finished with my current book by the end of the week. Yeah...I just started that one yesterday. Thanks Amy for keeping me supplied!!!!
So about this books site...check it out...www.dailylit.com. They have some pretty good books on there.

So...yesterday was Valentines Day...a day I have NEVER liked. Yes I'm married, and yes, I still hate it. Why take one day out of the year to show someone how much you love them, when it is something you should be doing all year. In the last year or so, I've learned to hate it more, because the day after--February 15th--was suppose to be Noah's due date. As I've said before, we lost him when I was 6 months pregnant.

Today was a hard day. In ways I wish I could have just stayed home, but in others it was ok to work. I was lucky enough to keep busy all day and not think of it much. Josh and I are going out tonight with friends from his work. This is another good thing to keep our mind off things and socialize insead.

I wonder though...what would our life be like with Noah in it? What would it be like if he were here with us phyiscally??? There are many things in life that you can't change, and this is one of those things. As much as we would love to have Noah with us, we know he is in a better place. He is looking down on us today...as he is every day...and telling us it's going to be OK.

So I Love to Read

So within the last year or so, I've become obsessed with reading. In 2007, I read 25+ books. I spend an hour on the train each day...a 1/2 hour to work and another 1/2 hour home from work. I also get to read on my lunch break. Just today I talked with my sister, and she's going to bring me a tote or two of books on Sunday when she come for our Super Bowl Party. I'm super pumpped about that. My other recent fascination, has been with abebooks.com. This website has most books for $1.00 + S&H. But still...I can't complain about getting a used book for about $5-$6. I love reading...I let my mind wonder into another world. For an hour and a half each day, I can let myself slip into another world. I slip out of this one, away from the everyday hussle and bussle, and sometime go back abotu 100+ years to the simple times. How did life get to be so complicated??? Reading often makes life feel so much better. We should all curl up with a good book and read. Here are some of my author recommendations:
Karen Kingsburry
Lori Wick
Beverly Lewis
Nicholas Sparks
Catherine Marie Hicks (I don't remember of hand if her name is spelled with a C or a K)
For now those are my favorites...I'll update on more when I read others that I enjoy. Until next time...
Happy Reading!:)

The Start of Something New

Ok...so I've never done this before, so I'm trying some thing new. Sometimes I have multiple things running through my head, and have no way to get them out. I'm hoping this will be my release for anything and everything. I think it may be my own personal therapy. You never know...sometimes I amaze myself.
Over the past year, since loosing Noah (more about this another day), I've been wanting to get my thoughts out somehow. Yes, I think of him often, and wonder what his life would be like. I wonder now...had he made it full term, would he be sleeping now, or would he stay up with Josh and I till we went to bed. I wonder alot about how his life would be, and how different mine and Josh's would be if he were here. I can't say if he were in it, because he is in it...just not physically. It's been 14 months since we lost him, and I still haven't been able to bring myself to ask Josh how he deals with the loss. I want to stay strong for him, but thinking about asking him how he deals, brings me to tears, so I know I can't ask him until I can stay stronger with it.
So, with all that said, this is the start of something new for me...it may not be an every day occurrence, but oh well...when I need a way to release, I know I have a place to go.
Until next time....
Me