The Start of Something New

Ok...so I've never done this before, so I'm trying some thing new. Sometimes I have multiple things running through my head, and have no way to get them out. I'm hoping this will be my release for anything and everything. I think it may be my own personal therapy. You never know...sometimes I amaze myself.
Over the past year, since loosing Noah (more about this another day), I've been wanting to get my thoughts out somehow. Yes, I think of him often, and wonder what his life would be like. I wonder now...had he made it full term, would he be sleeping now, or would he stay up with Josh and I till we went to bed. I wonder alot about how his life would be, and how different mine and Josh's would be if he were here. I can't say if he were in it, because he is in it...just not physically. It's been 14 months since we lost him, and I still haven't been able to bring myself to ask Josh how he deals with the loss. I want to stay strong for him, but thinking about asking him how he deals, brings me to tears, so I know I can't ask him until I can stay stronger with it.
So, with all that said, this is the start of something new for me...it may not be an every day occurrence, but oh well...when I need a way to release, I know I have a place to go.
Until next time....
Me