Seeing Things From Both Sides of the Fence

Amanda had her baby September 1st. How ironic to have your first child on Labor Day??? Anyways, Amanda had her baby and I couldn't be happier for her. Some family is upset because grandma Youngmark says this is her first great-grandchild, when they feel she really isn't...Noah is. Well...I see it both ways. Yes, Noah would be the 1st great-grandchild, but yes, Linnea is as well. I'll be honest, it really doesn't bother me that she says Linnea is the first great-grandchild, because in grandma's eyes, she is. I know she isn't discounting Noah. Everyone hurt when we lost him. I still hurt today, and it's been almost 2 years. If I were to get upset about grandma saying Linnea is her first great-grandchild, does that mean I should get upset at my parents when they say they have 3 grandkids? No...I shouldn't get upset. Sometimes people just don't want to explain that they lost a grandchild/great-grandchild, because it's just plain hard. There are times when I tell people I don't have kids. It doesn't mean that I'm not considering Noah my child...I just don't want to go into details. Who knows...grandma may consider Noah a great-grandchild, but for her to say she has 2 great grandkids would mean she would have to go through the pain and explain that her "1st" didn't make it and was still born. Who wants to explain that? I can't let the little things like this bother me...I'm trying to learn to let little things go. To me, this is just a little thing. Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain and loss, and I think this is grandma's way of doing that.

Evan and Amanda have Linnea. I couldn't be happeir for them. I'm glad they have her. I wouldn't with the loss of a child on anyone. It is by far the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life. Never ever would I wish that on anyone.

So, Sunday is Linnea's baptism, and I'm determined to make the best of it. After all...she is mine and Josh's God daughter...and she's a cutie...just like her "auntie" Nomie.:)