Still Confused.

This past week, I've still been spinning after our appointment last Thursday. This week I took the step to call my regular doctor and set up an appointment with her to talk about what is being recommended from the reproductive place. We are so confused because my doctor is saying one thing and they are saying another. We are going to go see Dr. Turner and get her take on things. So, on May 19th, we are going to go see what she has to say. At times my head has been scrolling medical terms, and fertility options. I never knew it could get this confusing to attempt to have a kid, much less HARD!!!

Oh well...it's like the saying goes...good things come to those who wait. I guess Josh and I just have to wait and see what happens.

Overwhelmed...

We had our consultation today with the Reproductive Clinic. I can honestly say we walked away from there with our heads spinning. Both of us have to have some blood work done, and Josh has to get his swimmers tested again. It sounds like when all is said and done, I may be doing clomid AGAIN. I'm not too confidant about this because the two miscarriages I had, were when I was on clomid. We could take another pill that will help, but it's not approved by something, so it's not out there and advertised. I don't remember the name of it, but it's basically a stronger form of clomid form what it sounded like. Another option would be the injectable hormones. Not something I would want to do...give myself shots, but if it got us a baby...I would do it.

I had ANOTHER internal ultrasound done today...#3 this year. My ovaries looked fine she counted about 15-17 cysts on each ovary, but isn't convinced that I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). Like I said...we left there with our heads literally spinning.

We did look into the cost of artificial insemination and IVF. We can honestly say...IVF is out no matter what. It's just not an affordable option. If we did the artificial thing, it would be out of pocket because it isn't covered by my insurance. Again...spinning heads.

So...in short...were do we go from here? I will continue to take birth control for the next 2 months, I have to go in to have a dye test done to make sure my tubes are open, and see what the results are with Josh's swimmers. It will take a few months to get into see the doctor, so we have some time to look at things and maybe try on our own and see where things take us.

So...for now I will finish out the birth control, continue on the metformin, and get the 5 different blood tests, and wait.

Please pray for us as we go through this. We are frustrated, but yet have hope that we will eventually have kids. Hopefully sooner than later, but it will happen when the time is right.

Thank you for you prayers so far, please keep them coming. We are feeling them. I have my days when I'm super low and down about this whole process...those seem to be the days when I feel prayers the most.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Results

So, Wednesday was the big day...I had my ultrasound. Things couldn't be better. Everything came back normal. No leftover tissue in my uterus, and my endometrial wall has thinned. I don't have to have a DNC or biopsy at all. My HCG levels dropped from 98 to 28, which is a HUGE answer to prayer.
When my HCG levels get to 25, I will be starting birth control for 3 months. Within those 3 months, we will see a specialist, and see what they have to say and go from there as to having kids. My doctor is pretty confidant that we will have them. I just need to STAY pregnant. So, we'll see what the specialist says and go from there.
Thank you to those who have been praying. Please continue to pray for Josh and I, and also pray for the doctors as they help us.
Until next time...:)

No More Secrets

It's been a while since I've been on here for an update. So...on the baby front. Clomid is done. It's been done since January. Yep...that's right. No more clomid. Why? Well, we'll put it this way. The clomid worked, BUT we lost the baby. I was about 6 weeks along, and we lost it. When I started clomid this round, I was very hesitant. Two years ago I was on clomid, got pregnant right away and lost that baby as well. So...we've been married almost 4 years, and have lost 3 babies. This isn't the easiest thing to deal with, but Josh and I have talked about it, and we feel that going through this, has in fact brought us closer.

Where are we going from here? Well...I've been going in every few weeks for blood tests, to make sure my HCG level is dropping. Before we left for Florida, it was down to 91, when we got back, it was up to 98. So, on Wednesday I will be going in for an ultrasound. They are going to check for any leftover tissue in my uterus. If there is, they will do a DNC, and clean it out. If not, they will do and endometrial biopsy. I'm praying a DNC will be what is needed, because the whole biopsy word freaks me out to no end.

Two years ago when we went through this, it took 2 months for my numbers to drop to zero. This time isn't much different, other than the doctor, and her being proactive in making sure things are fine, and there isn't anything more going on. Have I mentioned, I LOVE my doctor.

Where do we go from here? When my numbers (HCG level) go back to normal, I will start a 3 month stretch of birth control. In that 3 month time span, we will see a specialist, and see what they have to say. According to Dr. Turner (aka...my doctor) these guys are the "fast" way to get pregnant, she is the "slow" way. My doctor is confidant that we will get pregnant, and carry a baby to full term. Josh and I are too, we're just impatient.

With all that said, I know some of you are thinking "Why now? Why now are you telling us/family that Noah wasn't the only baby you've lost?" Well, that's an easy one to answer. Telling family & friends we lost Noah was not the easiest thing. Telling them early on that we were pregnant again, then telling them we lost it would have been just as hard. We didn't want to put our family through that again. But, now with me having to go in for either a DNC or biopsy, we thought we needed to start talking. With having to do more than just blood tests this time, we felt family should know now. We can't hide a DNC or biopsy from family.

So, there you have it...no more secrets. Noah was baby number one, and 2 others have followed. Please pray with us that everything will turn out fine on Wednesday. Pray with us that doctors have wisdom in helping us, and that we have patience. Pray that God shows us what we should do...do we keep trying to get pregnant, or should we start looking at adoption.

Baby Update...

NO...I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!!!! I'm just giving a quick update as to what is going on, cuz I don't remember who I've informed about what has been going on. We have been trying for over a year. So with that said...here goes.

About a year or so ago, I saw a doctor in Lakeville...I don't remember what for, but all I remember from that appointment, was that she thought I should get tested for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I didn't think much of it, but when I went in for a future appointment with my regular doctor, I brought it up to her. In short, she thought it was legitimate, and started me with testing. I went to her, a specialist, and I think one other person. The day after Thanksgiving last year, I got the results from those tests. In everything that was tested...all was fine. So...she pretty much told me...I'm not saying you do have it, but I'm not saying you don't. One of the treatments for PCOS, is metformin. A medication for diabetics. She didn't want to put me on it because I'm not diabetic.

That was a year ago, and I lived with it. Josh and I figured...when it's our time...we'll get pregnant, and life will go on. But...about 6-7 months ago, I was back to the same doctor in Lakeville. This time for a bladder infection. She asked me how things were going, if we were pregnant yet, and asked about the PCOS. I told her they didn't want to put me on meds cuz I wasn't diabetic, but they weren't saying I did or didn't have it. She pretty much told me I needed to keep pursuing it, because she is 99.9% positive that is what I have.

So...taking her advice, I set up an appointment at the Womens Clinic in Minneapolis. Dr. Turner has been AMAZING. From the minute she walked in the room I could tell she was different from any doctor I had seen so far. We talked for a few minutes, getting to know each other, then she said it...So tell me about your period. So...I told her. It started the week before I turned 12, and pretty much through my 6th grade year, I had it almost every other week. Once I got into Jr High, it was irregular. Heavy one month, nothing the next, light the next. It was a vicious cycle. I went on birth control to regulate it...sometime in college, then when I went off of it, I never got it. Needless to say...it has NEVER been "normal". When I finished I just looked at her...basically with a helpless look on my face. Her response to all of it..."You have classic case PCOS".

That was back in July. I walked out of there that day, with a few more tests done, and a prescription for Metformin. The same meds the doctor a year ago didn't want to put me on because I'm not diabetic. Dr. Turner has assured me even though I am NOT a diabetic, it won't harm me in any way...it will actually HELP me. Since July, I was back 2 other times, with more tests...even Josh had to take a few (his "swimmers" had to get tested). Thankfully everything has turned out fine so far for both of us. I am now taking clomid along with the metformin. Clomid is a med that regulates your period, but at the same time, helps you get pregnant.

So, right now...this is were we are. I'm charting my temperature EVERY morning along with taking clomid on the right days when I have my period. We just have to hope the clomid works. You can only take it for a max of 6 times at any given time. There is a pretty high risk of twins...something my doctor does NOT want. Why? Anytime you are pregnant with twins, you are high risk. I am...and always will be...high risk.

So...if you are reading this, this is what Josh and I ask of you...PLEASE PRAY.

Please pray that the clomid works.
Please pray that Josh and I will have patience. We know God's timing is perfect, but we are getting impatient waiting for that timing.

So...since our last post...this is what has been going on with us. Waiting, testing, meds...praying...praying...and more praying.

Now...we are asking others to join us in praying.

Just thinking...

I've decided that I'm not going to have this set to private anymore, so to anyone who decideds to read this, just know that what I put on here is what is on my mind, and I will not hold back anything. I don't think I should really have to hold anything back or have to guarded with what I put on here. I set this up for me as a way to get things out, and say what is on my mind that I may not otherwise be able to verbally say. There are times it is easier to write things out rather than say them...which is why I set this up to begin with...

Playing...

Pep and Daisy love to play...sometimes it sounds like Pep is gonna eat Daisy, but that hasn't happend yet...hopefully it never does. But...here's the two going at it...and a few more...we have crazy animals...

Daisy can't figure out where the water goes....

Pepper likes to chase her tail....