So...yesterday was Valentines Day...a day I have NEVER liked. Yes I'm married, and yes, I still hate it. Why take one day out of the year to show someone how much you love them, when it is something you should be doing all year. In the last year or so, I've learned to hate it more, because the day after--February 15th--was suppose to be Noah's due date. As I've said before, we lost him when I was 6 months pregnant.

Today was a hard day. In ways I wish I could have just stayed home, but in others it was ok to work. I was lucky enough to keep busy all day and not think of it much. Josh and I are going out tonight with friends from his work. This is another good thing to keep our mind off things and socialize insead.

I wonder though...what would our life be like with Noah in it? What would it be like if he were here with us phyiscally??? There are many things in life that you can't change, and this is one of those things. As much as we would love to have Noah with us, we know he is in a better place. He is looking down on us today...as he is every day...and telling us it's going to be OK.

So I Love to Read

So within the last year or so, I've become obsessed with reading. In 2007, I read 25+ books. I spend an hour on the train each day...a 1/2 hour to work and another 1/2 hour home from work. I also get to read on my lunch break. Just today I talked with my sister, and she's going to bring me a tote or two of books on Sunday when she come for our Super Bowl Party. I'm super pumpped about that. My other recent fascination, has been with abebooks.com. This website has most books for $1.00 + S&H. But still...I can't complain about getting a used book for about $5-$6. I love reading...I let my mind wonder into another world. For an hour and a half each day, I can let myself slip into another world. I slip out of this one, away from the everyday hussle and bussle, and sometime go back abotu 100+ years to the simple times. How did life get to be so complicated??? Reading often makes life feel so much better. We should all curl up with a good book and read. Here are some of my author recommendations:
Karen Kingsburry
Lori Wick
Beverly Lewis
Nicholas Sparks
Catherine Marie Hicks (I don't remember of hand if her name is spelled with a C or a K)
For now those are my favorites...I'll update on more when I read others that I enjoy. Until next time...
Happy Reading!:)

The Start of Something New

Ok...so I've never done this before, so I'm trying some thing new. Sometimes I have multiple things running through my head, and have no way to get them out. I'm hoping this will be my release for anything and everything. I think it may be my own personal therapy. You never know...sometimes I amaze myself.
Over the past year, since loosing Noah (more about this another day), I've been wanting to get my thoughts out somehow. Yes, I think of him often, and wonder what his life would be like. I wonder now...had he made it full term, would he be sleeping now, or would he stay up with Josh and I till we went to bed. I wonder alot about how his life would be, and how different mine and Josh's would be if he were here. I can't say if he were in it, because he is in it...just not physically. It's been 14 months since we lost him, and I still haven't been able to bring myself to ask Josh how he deals with the loss. I want to stay strong for him, but thinking about asking him how he deals, brings me to tears, so I know I can't ask him until I can stay stronger with it.
So, with all that said, this is the start of something new for me...it may not be an every day occurrence, but oh well...when I need a way to release, I know I have a place to go.
Until next time....
Me